At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
