So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
