I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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