I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
