i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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