just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
