Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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