I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
