there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ladies don't puke and tell
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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