I wish I could punch you in the face.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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