At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize