i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
