If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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