Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
