A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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