tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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