Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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