After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
