he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
