It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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