I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
