Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just high enough for therapy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
