Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize