so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
