if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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