Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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