So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Send help, water and tortillas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
