i jhust puked up my retainher.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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