The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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