bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
