His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
