I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
