remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
