After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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