Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
