Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
