Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize