I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
