i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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