me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this beer tastes like vomit already
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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