He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
