UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
