You're so nebulous sometimes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
