I think I am morally bankrupt
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
