I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
