Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize