pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize