Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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