She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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