So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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