I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize