Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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