Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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