I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
