Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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