I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
