She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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