My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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