Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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