There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
