Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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