i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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