so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize